You might have played the game for years and played with or against different players but for a newbie like me, it’s amusing to encounter different kinds of DOTA 2 players. So here is my so-called-DOTA2-players-classification based on my observations.

(Don’t get offended though…it’s just for fun!!!)

tumblr_nasllbNeIV1tgnjw0o1_250Coach Anzai: They’re experienced and matured enough (or so they think) to tell you what to do and not to do, what to buy and not to buy, where to go and not to go, what skills to use and not to use. In short they’re the DOMINANT and DEMANDING ONES where in fact they’re just as BAD/NOOB AS YOU!!! They usually utilize the holy microphone. (Will you just quit it already? You’re just as NOOB as I am! WTH?! You’re not my mom!)

I only follow orders & commands from senpais & not from noobs like u!

Daldalita/ Blabber Mouth: They’re the ones who keep on blabbering things every single time especially when they die. They keep on blaming you for their own mistake and death. Remember that they will always talk and even more whenever they get eaten.

(Shut up food?!) 

Pulis/Policeman: Here comes the police!!! They’re the ones who’ll come to the rescue right after the clash has just ended. Osm right?

What’s more amazing is that they know the exact timing when to arrive!!!

~ LOL (expect a KS from them of course!!!)

Noob: They’re the ones who keep on calling you noob even for the slightest mistake you commit. They’ll even blame you for their death and call you noob for eternity. Let’s just understand them for their vocabulary is limited and thus, noob is the only word they know!!! (there’s a high tendency that they’ll trash talk you and eventually rage quit)

Bata/Kids/Kiddos: These spoiled little brats are too immature that they always throw a tantrum and whine over the simplest things!!!  They will keep on bugging you to fck off their lane and their prey. They will call you ks (kill stealer) if you happen to help them. They don’t know the meaning of teamwork and cooperation. They don’t know how to share because they’re superstars,  that’s why!!!

BONUS: They’ll bug you to death to give them an item/set!!! biatch plox?! 

(Another type of DOTA 2 player which I am reflecting on whether

I’ll include in the list is the gangster!)


The Gangster: He doesn’t care a sh*t about you, but one thing’s for sure…he’s going to trash talk the hell out of you!!! He’s going to feed and he’s going to do anything it takes to keep you and your team from winning!!! He’s going to creep block you in a clash and he’s going to buy tons of courier and let them die in mysterious ways!!!

LOL I sure hate them!!! P.S. don’t forget that he’s also going to rage quit like a noob

Have you ever encountered them as well? What are your thoughts about my list? Pretty harsh?—I am sorry if my list turned out to be more of a rant than a classification

~ LOL so, enough of the hate.

My next post will be about  my favorite list of DOTA 2 player classifications.


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